Page 123

Rafique of The Liberal War Journal (and The Stubborn Facts) has tagged me for yet another book meme. He's too likable for me to say no, and at least this one is easy.

Here are the rules:
1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.

There is a full bookcase to the right of the computer (yikes!) but to my great relief there are several books strewn across the surface of the low table to the left and the closest one comes in several inches closer than the bookshelf. It is one of my all-time favourites, My Name is Asher Lev by Chaim Potok.

She sounded frightened. I wondered why she was frightened. She hadn't drawn the Rebbe's face in a Chumash.

This is a magnificent novel about a young ultra-orthodox Jewish boy who is consumed by his gift. From the time he can hold a stubby crayon in his fat little fist, he cannot stop himself from drawing, painting, documenting his life. And it ultimately leads him to paint a crucifixion, although it is not Jesus, but his mother who hangs on the cross formed by the intersection of the living room window panes. Potok explores with his customary compassion and sensitivity the relationships between father and son, mother and son, art and religion, belief and doubt. I don't know if the book is still in print, but if you can get your hands on a copy, do so. And cherish it.

Now that I am "it", I need to tag five others. Mwahaha.

Janna at Something She Wrote, of course (revenge is sweet)
Jared at Total Depravity (despite the name, a blog of great charm)
Greg at Sippican Cottage, essayist extraordinaire
Edward Willett at the misspelled (no I won't give it up, Ed!) Hassenpfeffer
and
Annie at The Superfast Reader

Technorati tags: Memes, Chaim Potok, My Name is Asher Lev

Daddy blogs

Who knew? There is such a thing as a Daddy Blog. Of course, if you stop and think about it, it makes perfect sense. There are probably blogs for just about everything. But I am the kind of person who hasn't stopped to think about a lot of things, so it surprised me.

Following the breadcrumbs left by a recent commenter, I found myself in Total Depravity, which defies its name and turns out to be a wonderful little blog about being a daddy, with everything from personal anecdotes - told with a deft touch - to poetry to the bizarre. I mean, what would YOU do if it was your dad who told you to jump off a bridge?

The blogroll is entitled Blogfathers (groan) with one of the listees sporting the wonderful name of A Family Runs Through It.

I was at a student party a number of years ago (OK, so it was a LOT of years ago) where one of the young men caught my eye. He'd taken the hosts' baby and was cradling the sleeping child on his shoulder, even as he carried on animated discussions with the other students. I was very impressed.

I'll let you guess the end of the story. There's something about a guy who really likes kids...

It's nice to know that beer commercials do not tell the entire story. These Daddy blogs show another side of men, one we should probably see more often.

Women's rights vs. fathers' rights

John Burgess at Crossroads Arabia recently posted concerning women's medical status in Saudi Arabia. In the case cited, a woman in labour needed a Caesarian, but her husband had signed papers disallowing the procedure, even if it meant death for his child. The Saudi doctor involved managed to persuade the husband to change his mind, but he was shaken. He also came to the conclusion that the ultimate decision in cases like that should be left in the hands of the mother. It's awfully hard to argue with a conclusion like that (although any number of Wahhabis probably would) and I'm certainly not going to be the one to do it.

One of the commenters though brought up an excellent point:

However, in the West, we have many issues to the other extreme. Men are not consulted regarding abortions. Also, many women have given up children for adoption without the man’s knowledge, or consultation. Custody for men was also rarely given, despite circumstances.

Justice is rarely found at extremes and these are the two extremes: when women have no say and when men have no say.

In any properly functioning system, authority and responsibility must go hand in hand. You cannot strip someone of any authority and at the same time impose responsibility on them, or vice versa. If we are going to strip men of any say in what happens to their children, we must also absolve them of all responsibility too.

Not that I would advocate doing so. A balanced approach, that recognizes the rights and responsibilities of all three people involved in the birth of a child, is the ideal. Most couple probably find this balance all on their own - I know that this was the case in our home. But the courts must often make decisions when couples haven't been able to resolve these issues on their own, and the lawmakers in Western countries should be looking for a better balance when it comes to the rights and responsibilities of fathers.